Introduction
A lot of you must be knowing about the common signs which are useful for spotting a bold faced lie. These signs include constant fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, stammering, sweating, and changing the subject. However, someone who is a confident liar knows this fact about these signs too.
The confident liar will not exhibit these signs at all. Most of the easily identifiable signs of lying are mistakes often made by inexperienced liars. A confident liar is far more subtle, both in their mannerisms and in their ability to make up lies.
Before moving ahead, I would like to make a quick disclaimer. The traits of a confident liar, as mentioned in this article should only be taken up as indicators and not definitive proof. With that said, we will now be trying to find out ways which may help in identifying confident liars better.
Traits of a Confident Liar
Some of the most common traits of clever and confident liars are as follows:
Uncharacteristic Tone
This will only work if you are previously familiar with the one who is lying. Notice for subtle change in tones or observe if they are not being their usual self. There are a number of ways you can notice a sudden shift in tone or behaviour.
A confident liar may attempt to portray themself as overly calm or enthusiastic. This will be evident from their speech patterns. They will use formal language in a regular conversation for further elaboration of their points to the other person.
Evasive Language
You will also notice that a charismatic liar will use evasive language in a lot of ways. When you will ask a difficult question, they will either deflect or straight up change the subject. This is a common trait in a lot of confident liars.
Deflection is a common tool which provides an easy distraction and a ready-made excuse to get out of a tough situation. Thus, it becomes quite important to notice verbal as well as non-verbal cues when you are already skeptical of someone.
Unusual Eye Contact
We have an ingrained urge to check for avoidance of eye contact to spot a liar. In the case of a confident liar, this would not work. It happens as a charismatic liar will maintain eye contact with you throughout the conversation.
This is the exact opposite from an amateur liar as they often tend to avoid eye contact while making up a lie. However, being wary of too much eye contact is a good thing. Noticing non verbal cues are equally important to spot a clever lie.
Mirroring
Speaking of non verbal cues, the biggest is the use of mirroring during conversations. Mirroring refers to copying the tone and mannerisms of the person one is communicating with. It helps build up rapport with the other party as it helps make people comfortable.
We sometimes subconsciously mirror others while conversing which is not a cause of concern and it is perfectly fine. However, it becomes troubling when a bad actor uses mirroring and other manipulative maneuvers to get their way. You can read more about mirroring by going through one of our previous articles dealing with this subject.
Methods to Spot a Confident Liar
You can use these methods as a starting point to spot lies in your day-to-day lives:
Repeat Questions
The most common and effective way to spot a liar is to ask questions one after the other. For example: If someone tells you a false story, ask them about all the relevant details. Asking cross questions is another great option in such a situation.
When someone is lying, after multiple questions they will generally say something which will be contradictory to the main storyline. Looking for contradictions is a great way to spot lies but don’t overdo it or come off as being argumentative. We just have to find out the lie to protect our peace of mind but we shouldn’t devote our time and energy to being sucked into a debate.
Notice Over-Elaboration
When someone is going into the nitty gritty of things without being asked for it, it could be a sign of lying. A confident liar uses over-elaboration of specifics as a medium to make the other party believe in their lies. It is done because we have a perception that lies are usually plain and devoid of any details.
The confident liar knows this too and uses overtly elaborate details to convince others. Since people look for details before trusting anything, a well thought out story fulfills this metric. As a result, it becomes quite easy to believe in a lie when it is presented in such a manner.
Cross-Reference Information
Verification of information from multiple sources can be challenging but it is essential. This is because a lot of the time, a confident manipulator will present information about them. Taking such information at face value may not be an ideal move.
Therefore cross referencing any given information is essential to protect ourselves from potential scams and scammers. Using multiple sources to check for offers made by someone which looks too good to be true is always a good idea. It helps one not fall prey to cleverly fabricated lies made by confident liars.
Trust Your Intuition
This might be a controversial take for many but I have personally found intuition to be a good measure for spotting lies. There is a saying, “When a house looks too good on paper, it is likely made from a deck of cards”. The same is true for perfectly construed lies as well.
Every time a shrewd manipulator narrates an anecdote, even if the incident is true, they will omit some crucial detail to swing the pendulum in their favour. The other tell tale signs of spotting lies is not present in such an instance. Trusting our intuition and simultaneously looking for evidence to relieve our fears can be a viable course of action for many.
Conclusion
I hope this article was a brief yet interesting read for you. Do keep in mind that not all of these signs are only applicable to manipulators. A lot of people may exhibit nervousness, become sweaty, and fumble their words because they are just nervous and it is perfectly normal.
Being wary of cunning manipulators is a great thing but being overly skeptical of our close ones is never a good idea. If you found this piece useful. or want to provide suggestions for our future articles, do visit our contact page. Hope to meet you soon with another informative piece on the way.